From Ashes to Hope: Our Journey After a Tragic House Fire

On Saturday, July 22nd, I was bartending at our local comedy club, where I work part-time.  Around 9pm, I received a phone call at the club from my husband who said there was a severe emergency and I needed to come home immediately.  When I picked up the phone, he said our house caught fire and he couldn't find two of our beloved pets.  I grabbed my things, ran out the door, and raced home to find several fire trucks and dozens of people outside our house.  

In disbelief, I sat in our family van, looking at the charred remains of my childhood home because I initially couldn't fully comprehend what I was seeing.  Then, I got out of the car, walked up to our front yard, and fell to my knees as I realized that everything I had ever owned was gone. 

If you have been in the Maximizing Momma community for a while, you know that I refer to myself as an extremely sentimental person who is emotionally attached to all of my belongings.  I took great pride in sharing my childhood holiday decor on my Instagram stories, as well as my sentimental things and how we can hold onto decades' worth of belongings with intention and purpose.  But every single one of those items has now been taken from me.  For this, I am still processing.

At the time of this blog post, only 3 full days have passed since the house fire.  However, I intend for this post to be a one-stop-shop for you to check in with over the next year as my family recovers from this traumatic tragedy, as we rebuild our home or find something better, grieve the loss of our cat and dog, as I begin to heal from losing all of my sentimental belongings, and how I plan to be strategic with our belongings and stay organized in the future.

Below, you will find separate sections with details about how we are moving forward, details for how you can support our family during this difficult time, as well as time stamps for future updates. 

Our Beloved Pets, Augie and Rotto

In 2018, a black cat showed up at our doorstep with a ring around the end of his tail.  The vet said it had somehow been singed off and the end of it was dead.  I am extremely sensitive toward animals, and at the time, we only had one dog, a big black lab named Daisy, so we decided the cat with the broken tail would become one of our family pets.  We aptly named him Rotto, which means "broken" in Italian.

In 2021, my family and I were feeding the geese on one of our neighborhood streets when a man came out of his house asking if we wanted a dog.  We said no due to the fact that we already had a dog, to which he said that he was moving and his new home would not allow pets, so he would have to take him to the shelter.  Of course, we gladly accepted the dog to keep him out of the shelter!  The man said his name was Augie, and we planned on changing his name, but we never did.  Augie looked EXACTLY like Benji (except his fur was different colors), and I have never hesitated to tell people that.  As a matter of fact, when I arranged to have Augie and Rotto cremated, I told the gentleman on the phone that Augie looked like Benji.

After we brought Augie home, he and Rotto became besties, I think due to their smaller size.  They would both lay at the foot of my bed and Rotto would play-attack him and pin him down. 😂

I'm currently in the process of combing through my very large collection of digital photos to find a good representation of what Augie looked like in the face.  Unfortunately, a lot of our mobile devices, computers, hard drives, and tablets were destroyed in the fire.  When I find a better photo, I will share it below.

Where We Are Staying

My step-family lives in the Tulsa area.  My step-aunt owns a house that belonged to her late father-in-law that she is thankfully, letting us stay in for the time being.

It has a fenced-in backyard for our two surviving dogs, as well as a full kitchen, bathroom, washer and dryer, and air conditioning. 

My step-aunt was planning on renting this house, so I'm not sure how long we will be here, as we do still have our mortgage payment.  But for now, it is a tremendous blessing to have stable ground for my family. 🙏🏻

Homeowner Insurance Details

I recently found out that our homeowner's insurance policy does not cover our belongings, only the structure.  That is definitely a mistake on my part due to my financial past and my tendency to avoid things.  And I deeply regret not making it a priority to double-check our policy. 

The house we lived in belonged to my late mother.  She passed away in 2016 and as her only child, I inherited it.  Then, in 2018, we made the decision to move into the house after my husband lost his job.  However, when I had the water turned on, the master bathroom flooded and we were forced to stay in a hotel for 6 months while the flood damage was restored.  Throughout the process, I was almost in survival mode as I ensured that my family had a sense of normalcy.  

Then, when we finally got moved in, I quickly realized that we had more belongings than space.  Meaning, all of our stuff did not fit into the house.  And that's actually how the Maximizing Momma was born!  I started documenting what I was learning and implementing in order to maximize my time at home with swollen legs, let go of our excess clutter, and organize the things we wanted to keep.

As a result of acquiring my late mother's home and mortgage payment, I never thought to check our insurance policy to confirm that our belongings were covered.  I have never been a homeowner and therefore, I wrongly assumed that they were covered.

Lesson Learned:  Double-check your policy!  Even if you are a renter!

Therefore, without coverage for our belongings, it will take some considerable time to replace the material items that were lost in the fire.  Fortunately, a lot of our belongings can be saved, as the fire was extinguished before reaching the back three bedrooms.  However, every single item in our home has extensive smoke damage.  And without insurance coverage, my insurance policy will not pay to have those things restored and professionally cleaned. 

I am in the process of getting some quotes for restoration services so we can begin the process of having a few of our things professionally cleaned, such as the master bedroom furniture, the items on my dresser, the things in our closets, etc.

Cause of The Fire

The cause of the fire is still unknown.

My husband said the garage was half open and he had just put the dogs outside when he noticed smoke coming from our garage. 

(Unfortunately, Augie ran back in after him, which is why he was inside when the house went up in flames.)

Later, the fire department said that it definitely started in the garage or kitchen.  My personal belief is that it started in the garage as the damage is more extensive there, compared to our kitchen.  I should be hearing from them soon when they conclude their investigation.

Since I was at work when it started, everything I am about to share is hearsay.

My husband and children said that while the fire was being extinguished, some neighborhood kids were saying that they had seen someone throwing firecrackers in the direction of our driveway. 

A few days later, I was speaking with our neighbor, as the fire in our house was so intense that it caught part of her house on fire as well. 😔 And she had a young boy with her who was interpreting English to Spanish for us.  This young boy said the same thing to me about the fireworks-- that he saw people using them in the direction of our house.

If this is true, then it can be deduced that a firework accidentally flew into our garage, where my husband had thousands of dollars worth of tools, gas cans, welding equipment, and a box of our own fireworks from this past Fourth of July.  And of course, it is totally unacceptable!

When I hear from the fire department, I will update this blog post.

Healing From Loss of Sentimental Items

Again, this fire just happened a few days ago, and therefore, I do not know the full extent of everything that was lost.  My step-mom was able to find a small photo album that may be able to be restored.  But as the days have gone by, I have had random thoughts pop into my head of all the things that I've lost that were DEEPLY important to me.

Including, but not limited to:

• My entire photo collection, going back three generations, and the only photos I have of my late mother
• My childhood stuffed animals
• My childhood baby items and memorabilia, such as my first haircut, shoes, etc.
• My children's baby items and stuffed animals
• My late mother's sentimental items
• Extensive childhood decor that meant the world to me, such as a pair of ceramic Santa boots that were given to my late mother by her mother in 1965
• All of my children's school photos 
• Sentimental artwork my kids have made for me at school
• And lots more that I have not remembered yet

As someone who is emotionally attached to my belongings, I know it will take some time for me to heal from this tragedy.  I have a tendency to avoid things, especially grief and loss.  But I plan to allow myself the space to fully grieve these material items, as I did not have the opportunity to photograph any of them.

My Plan for The Maximizing Momma Going Forward

In my mid-twenties, I was homeless for a couple of years as I struggled with opiate addiction.  After getting sober and getting back on my feet, I developed a shopping addiction where I spent tens of thousands of dollars on material items for our house, simply because I could.

That's actually how I began to experience an influx of clutter. 

Then, as I had my fourth child, I had a hard time keeping house and staying on top of the messes.

Because of this, my intention, going forward, is to prevent the same thing from happening again as my family rebuilds our home and our lives after losing everything. 

Clutter

We went to Walmart the other day to replace some of my children's clothes, and I noticed that we were eager to purchase a lot of random items with the thought that "it all needed to be replaced."

However, I want to be intentional with our purchases to prevent our home from getting cluttered in the future.  

Also, in my eyes, I view all of our destroyed belongings as clutter.  Again, due to my emotional attachments, it will be very hard for me to just let them all go, despite the damage.  I have already found myself digging through piles of ashes for things that can maybe be salvaged. 

And it all comes back to the same concept of letting go.

I will be sharing how I'm coping with this on my IG, FB, and TT stories.

Messes

Throughout this week, we have been extremely blessed to receive an influx of donations. 🙏🏻 As a result, we have a lot of items sitting around in boxes and stacked up on tables.

I am extremely grateful for all of these donations!  But I also want to be intentional with our living space for my own sanity and peace of mind throughout this difficult time.

Having a calm, orderly home helps me to be the best mom I can be.  And therefore, I plan to "overhaul" this house we are staying in, the same way I teach my clients and students to overhaul their messes.

Stay tuned to my IG, FB, and TT stories for more to come on how I'm overhauling.

Routines

All households need routines to thrive!  My children start back at school in three weeks, and since we are across town from their schools, we will need to be on top of our game in order to maximize our time and keep a well-run household so my kids can, again, have a sense of normalcy in their lives.

I will be sharing our rhythms and routines on my IG, FB, and TT stories.

Organizing

Depending on how long we stay in this current house...

After I have overhauled our home and developed a few routines for the coming school year, I will share how I am organizing all of our new belongings going forward.

A lot of the behind-the-scenes will be shared to my stories. And I will update this blog post periodically so you can stay informed as to what is happening with our current home.

Upcoming August Workshop

We just wrapped up a free live workshop on July 18th and I had made an announcement that we would have another workshop in the middle of August.

I do still plan to host that event, but I will, naturally, need a bit more time.

If you want to be notified of the live event, you can sign up for my email list at the bottom of this blog post.

How You Can Help

I have received an abundance of condolences, support, kind words, and donations, and I am forever grateful for each and every one of you.

Please know that I am reading every word you have said and feeling so blessed to have such an amazing community rallying behind my family.

Several people have asked how they can help, and that is why I decided to put together this blog post.  So everything is easy-to-find, all in one handy-dandy spot. 😉

Here, you will find a link to our Gofundme.

And I am in the process of creating an Amazon wishlist that I will link below as well.

Also, I will soon include a link to a document with a list of our needed items and clothing sizes.  I may set up a P.O. Box, so if you happen to have any of the items listed on the document, you will be able to mail them to us. 

Thank you for being here and reading this post. 💖

Words truly cannot express how blessed, fortunate, and abundant I feel to have such an incredible community of people who are supportive, kind, and understanding.

I love each and every one of you. 

All the best,