The Real Reason You Have Clutter
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[00:00:00] Have you ever thought that your house is messy and cluttered because you're just a messy person or because you're naturally disorganized or maybe it's because you haven't found the right solution or you think that you need to do a better job of cleaning and tidying and decluttering and organizing. Well, in this episode, I'm going to be breaking down the real reason why you have clutter.
And I promise it's not what you think. Hello, hello, and welcome to the Take Charge of Your Home Show, the podcast helping you trade in clutter and the messes for peace of mind and sanity, so you can have more time to make memories with your kids and the freedom to enjoy a nice evening to yourself every now and then amidst the chaos of never ending to dos, dinners, and diapers.
We're saying goodbye to the hot mess mom life and instead creating house Holds that are both sustainable and supportive of the lives that we want to live and the things that we want to [00:01:00] do. And I am so very excited to announce that we have several live events coming over the next two months between now and the end of May to help you break the clutter cycle, clean up the mess, get organized, and create a well run, Functional household that puts time back into your day.
Our first event is a live masterclass taking place on Zoom. It's called Three Little Known Secrets the Organizing Pros Aren't Telling You. And it's all happening on Wednesday, April 10th. So if you've been trying to get organized but it doesn't seem to work or it never seems to last because your house keeps getting cluttered all over again, you'll definitely want to click on the link in the show notes to save your seat.
Now let's get back to the show. Thanks for tuning in.
Hello. Hello and welcome back. Today. I want to talk about the real reason why you [00:02:00] have clutter. Now. Yes, of course. I'm always saying on this podcast and on social media and in my emails, I'm always saying that the reason why you have clutter is because you have too much stuff.
And that is a big part of it.
The reason why your house is cluttered is because there simply is too much stuff, because over the years you have acquired more and more things as you have gone from teenager to moving out on your own to motherhood and having kids. And of course with kids comes an influx of stuff and it doesn't really seem to stop for the next 18 years.
And the more kids you have, the more stuff you're going to have. But then of course, there's also. You know, shopping and spending habits and retail therapy or inheriting family members belongings, or, you know, just acquiring things for a false sense of security. Because we can have anything we want delivered to our doorstep in two days.
So there's really a lot [00:03:00] here that we could unpack that we're going to save her another episode. The fact is that. If your house is messy and cluttered, it's a given that you have too much stuff and you need to let go of the excess.
But one thing that I hear time and time again, is that people feel like they can't get started decluttering because their number one priority is to keep a clean house. They want things to be clean and tidy. They want things to be put away because it's the the chaos on the counters and the flat surfaces and the floors and the tables and the chairs. It's that kind of chaos that is really driving them crazy. And so that's what I want to break down today is why you have that type of clutter.
So first and foremost, I want to say that clutter is subjective. So it can be that you have too much stuff because you've never learned how to let any of the excess go. But it can also be the stuff that is left out all over your house. [00:04:00] Some people call that clutter.
And so on that note, I want to mention that those things that are left out all over your house, I call those messes really to make it super easy for you to distinguish what I'm specifically referring to. Because if I were to come on here and just keep using the word clutter over and over and over again, you might interpret that to mean the things that are piled away in your garage, in your basement, and your closets. Whereas, somebody else could interpret the word clutter to mean, you know, my desk is cluttered right now because there's random stuff all over it. So in order to really prevent that from happening, I specify all the time the difference between clutter and messes. And I always recommend that you do the same, that you be able to identify the clutter from the messes in your home, because it will massively, it will make a huge [00:05:00] difference in terms of how you're able to handle each of them effectively for good.
So the clutter is the stuff that's piling up and accumulating. It's the things that you really need to be sorting through and deciding what you should let go of. Whereas, the messes are going to be the items that you use on a pretty day to day basis. The things that you want to keep that are just left out around your home.
But. Here's the kicker. The clutter informs the messes. So all the stuff that is taking up your storage spaces. Your closets cabinets, shelves drawers, all those areas really behind closed doors. That clutter that is back there leaves you no room for the things that you use on a day-to-day basis, which is why they're getting left out.
So think about it. If like right now I'm looking at my desk, it's not really that cluttered. There's a dog toys and notebooks, a stapler, a piece of [00:06:00] mail. You know, my computer, a microphone and a water cup. And so this dog toy is getting left on my desk all the time, because there is nowhere to put it on the shelves in my den.
And the reason why there is nowhere to put this dog toy is because the shelves are cluttered. They're already filled with things. So even if you wouldn't identify the stuff on my shelves as clutter. The fact is it is clutter because there are things that I could be letting go of to make room for my dogs toys. Does that make sense?
So. What you need to know is that the clutter is informing the messes. The reason why the messes are getting left out on a day-to-day basis is because there is no room to store them away. You literally don't have room to put them anywhere, because again, You have too much stuff.
Now with that said. It's kind of like peeling back an onion because there are actually many, many layers for [00:07:00] why you have clutter and messes.
The real reason. The main reason, the main reason that I want to talk about today is that there is way too much going on to manage and maintain your household. Like when you, if you really sit down and think about everything that you need to deal with on a daily basis, like the paperwork, emails, habits, all the messes that are left out, meals, self care, dishes, laundry, cleaning, et cetera. So there's way too much going on and you have no plan to unify all of it.
So at the end of a very long day, With so much going on, you're trying to raise responsible human beings, doing your own self care and the things that bring you joy, like watching TV. And now with the rise of social media, we as a collective are so easily distracted. So when you're [00:08:00] behind on the laundry and it's piling up on the floor, when you haven't mopped the floor in three weeks, when you need to do the dishes and you need to start the dishwasher and you need to deal with and pick up all the toys and all the random shit left out all over your living room... It's no wonder the messes and the clutter start to form because at the end of this long day, you're too exhausted to do all of that. And I have had so many clients tell me how can I find the time to deal with all of these things when it takes all of my time and energy, just to reset my kitchen each night. And I've had other clients tell me I don't even have the energy to reset my kitchen. By the time my kids are done eating dinner, I'm exhausted and falling asleep on the couch.
And I have definitely been there a few years ago. I think I even shared about it here on the podcast. I was talking about how I started to notice that every night, like clockwork after dinner, I would go sit down [00:09:00] on the couch. And I would immediately fall asleep.
I had no energy to do the dishes and as a result, they started to really, really pile up for months, for months on end, they would just be like this huge overflowing pile of dishes in my sink, because I had no energy to deal with them. And. So that's just one example. But when you think about this on. You know, a larger scale for your entire household and all the little nitty gritty things that you need to do on a daily basis. When you have no plan to unify all of that stuff, that is the reason why the clutter and the messes are really forming and why it's so hard to maintain your household and keep it tidy and keep the clutter at bay and stay organized in the longterm.
It is not because there's something wrong with you. So you can breathe a sigh of relief about that, because I know that's something that many people feel, they have this deep deep [00:10:00] sense of shame and guilt because they are not able to keep a clean house. And so they feel like something is wrong with them. But your house is not cluttered because there's something wrong with you. It's not because you're naturally disorganized or because you're lazy or because you're a messy person. The fact is you're stuck in the clutter cycle, a literal cycle of behaviors and actions that you're doing, because you want to stay on top of the laundry and the dishes, because you want to keep a clean house, because you want to be more organized. And in order to do that, in order to take your home from cluttered and chaotic to calm and peaceful, you've been taught that you need to clean, tidy, clear the clutter, and get organized simultaneously. And so you're trying to do them all randomly and sporadically.
But the problem is that you're trying to do too much [00:11:00] because it is not, nor will it ever be feasible for you to do all of that randomly. It makes no sense. It is simply not possible for you to, on any given day to wake up and do your morning routine and get your workout in and get ready for the day and get dressed and do your makeup and do your hair and everything that social media tells us, you know, we should be doing to be presentable as women, and then get your kids ready for school and unload the dishwasher and feed the dogs and eat a healthy breakfast and meditate.
And then after school, you need to help your kids with their homework and help them learn how to read and teach them how to tie their shoes and teach them to put their things away. And then you need to make dinner and you need to declutter that junk drawer, and you need to organize that shelf and you need to be cleaning and you need to be tidying and mopping.
And then you got to get your kids in the bath after dinner, and then you need to clean up the house again, and then you need to do your own self care and you want to read a book and then spend time with your partner and go to bed. That's [00:12:00] not possible. And it's never going to be possible.
But this is literally what we're taught.
And of course, nobody is out there saying, Hey, you need to do all of that shit in one day. Of course, nobody is saying that, but that's the message that we're getting loud and clear from social media. And I'll tell you why we're getting that message. Because the cleaning, the tidying, the decluttering and the organizing, they were never made to fit together. There is no plan out there to help you unify all of it. So you're following you know, different experts to help you with cleaning, another expert, to help you with tidying and one for organizing and one for decluttering and so on and so forth. And so you're trying all these different methods and strategies that they say work for them.
And so you're watching the clean with me, YouTube videos and you're downloading decluttering checklists and pinning organizing ideas and, you know, trying different things to keep your house tidy. And you're [00:13:00] doing all of this randomly and sporadically. And if you're also following other experts for your personal goals, like losing weight or, you know, doing yourself care or, Taking better care of your physical self and doing your makeup and your hair and all that different stuff.
We get the message loud and clear that in order to have a tidy, perfect home like we see on social media, we need to do all of these things. Like I said, it's never said to us specifically, but to answer this question, the real reason why you have clutter, it is because you're stuck in the clutter cycle where you're just trying to do what you can on any given day to maintain your household. And you're never able to fully unify all of your belongings, all the things that you need to do, the mental load of running your house and raising kids. You're never able to unify all of that stuff and really, truly, effectively be [00:14:00] able to take charge of your home and transform it from cluttered to calm.
So with all of that said, When it comes to anything that is related to your household, the cleaning, tidying, decluttering and organizing. That is what I call basic decluttering and organizing advice. It's the tips and tricks that you hear from many experts and pro organizers. It's the clean with me YouTube videos, the decluttering checklists, the organizing ideas and all this random stuff that you'll find all over the internet.
It's just this broad generalized advice that you'll hear from a wide variety of different people about what you need to be doing in order to get a neat and tidy home. And it could even be influencer sharing you know, watch me de clutter videos. So. This broad advice.
I had to give it a name. So I just named it the basic advice, the basic decluttering and organizing advice, because it is just- that [00:15:00] it's basic. And here's what's so mind blowing. That basic advice was never created to help you organize your messy home. It was actually created to help people maintain their homes. So. Pro organizers when they first became a thing 40 years ago in the mid eighties, they came together because they realized that they could help people start to organize all the stuff that they had been acquiring during the rise of consumerism.
And it was not until about 15 years later at the turn of the century, when pro organizers realized that a lot of their clients had been acquiring way too much stuff, and they actually needed to help them declutter and let go of the excess before they could organize. What they were keeping. That is only when decluttering really became so popular. Before that nobody really knew what it was. Now, of course. You know, in general, we knew that if we didn't [00:16:00] need or love or use something anymore, we knew that we could get rid of it, but it was not a thing to just go in there and just clear out your house and let go of decades worth of stuff.
And so, my point in mentioning this is that organizing was created to help people organize their homes. De cluttering became a thing to teach people how to let go of the excess staff Tidying, I don't even know how that was developed. And I did my research and could not find anything online, but tidying was developed as a way to help people keep things picked up and put where they belong.
And of course, you know, cleaning that's been around for centuries to actually clean the dirt and the germs and the grime. But none of those things fit together.
None of those were actually developed and created to help somebody take their entire home from messy and cluttered and chaotic and stressful to calm and peaceful and orderly and [00:17:00] tidy. It was not created to help you organize a messy home. It was not created to help you transform your entire home. It was developed to help people maintain their homes and keep them from getting out of control.
And this is actually great news, because if you have felt like decluttering and organizing have not been working for you, this is why.
And as a side note, For our next episode, I'm going to break this down in depth for why decluttering and organizing aren't working. So make sure that you're subscribed to the Take Charge of Your Home Show because over the next two months, we're going to reel you back in. We're going to simplify what you're doing and help you finally get an organized home that runs like a well-oiled machine. We have a content series on social media and here on the podcast with a new theme each week to really take you on a journey, shift your perspective, [00:18:00] and change the way that you think about decluttering and organizing forever. And we also have a series of live events between now and the end of may. And this is all to celebrate the doors opening to my signature program, Cluttered to Calm. It's the fast track to getting a well-run functional household that gives you peace of mind and sanity. And I can't wait to share more with you.
So stay tuned and get excited. This is my very favorite time of the year because what we'll be covering. Is cruelly life-changing, it will change your household forever. It is the key that you need to finally get an organized home.
So that's all that I have for you today. Oh, yeah, I forgot, I wanted to mention that I've been thinking about changing the name of this podcast. Because the name the Take Charge of Your Home Show it [00:19:00] doesn't entirely sum up exactly what this podcast is about. So. I was actually thinking of naming it, Break the Clutter Cycle. But I would love to know your thoughts. Do you like the name take charge of your home? Do you think break the clutter cycle would be better suited? Or do you have any other recommendations? Let me know. I will share a link below in the show notes to my Instagram account so you can send me a DM.
So thank you for being here. Thank you for being in this community. And thank you for tuning in. It is truly an honor to have so many of you here listening each week. I am. I have been working hard to develop a better episode release schedule. We just got a new puppy. Yes, another puppy. And it's ironic because last week I had actually pulled up an old episode from when I first started this podcast in the fall of [00:20:00] 2022. And one of the very first episodes I shared that we had a new puppy that was always at my feet and that you could probably hear him whining in the background.
Well, that puppy, he about a week after that episode, he ended up with parvo. Almost died. And so we decided to keep him, which at that time that gave us three dogs. Which I never wanted in the first place. Then sadly, about a year later, we lost one of our dogs, Augie in our house fire this past summer. And so, ever since then two dogs has been enough.
It was always enough. I never wanted three because having three dogs really changes the power dynamic between your dogs. But then a week ago. My husband brought home a puppy from work because someone was going to take it to the shelter. And if you know me, you know, that [00:21:00] I can never allow that to happen, ever. So he brought this puppy home. We planned right away to find her home. Like I always say I wasn't going to get attached. And in order to really prevent myself from getting attached, my youngest daughter ended up being the one to take care of this puppy.
And, so we haven't been able to find her a home. And now she is attached to us. And my youngest daughter is attached to her. And it's exhausting. She's so little, she's probably actually less than eight weeks. And so we've been keeping Harvey and Daisy separated from her. So they're always scratching at the den trying to get out. Barking and whining, trying to get to this puppy. And the den is where I record these episodes. And the puppy, which we've named Carla is chewing everything up. She chewed up two charging cords today and whining for attention and whining because she doesn't want to be alone. And so anyway, all of that to say, [00:22:00] it's been a little bit chaotic in my household over the last few weeks, but I am working on a new episode release schedule that will be more consistent with the days and the times that the episodes come out and I will have one soon.
So thank you again for being here. I'll talk to you soon. Bye.
