50 - Here's Why Decluttering and Organizing Aren't Working
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[00:00:00] You know how you're trying to declutter and organize all the different areas of your home, but it seems like your house keeps getting cluttered all over again. Well, there are two reasons why that might be happening, why decluttering and organizing are not working for you. And I'm going to be breaking them down in this episode, as well as why you need to have a plan to unify all of your belongings.
Hello, hello, and welcome to the Take Charge of Your Home Show, the podcast helping you trade in clutter and the messes for peace of mind, and sanity, so you can have more time to make memories with your kids and the freedom to enjoy a nice evening to yourself every now and then amidst the chaos of never ending to dos, dinners, and diapers.
We're saying goodbye to the hot mess mom life and instead creating house Holds that are both sustainable and supportive of the lives that we want to live and the things that we want to do. And I am so very excited to announce that [00:01:00] we have several live events coming over the next two months between now and the end of May to help you break the clutter cycle, clean up the mess, get organized, and create a well run, Functional household that puts time back into your day.
Our first event is a live masterclass taking place on Zoom. It's called Three Little Known Secrets the Organizing Pros Aren't Telling You. And it's all happening on Wednesday, April 10th. So if you've been trying to get organized but it doesn't seem to work or it never seems to last because your house keeps getting cluttered all over again, you'll definitely want to click on the link in the show notes to save your seat.
Now let's get back to the show. Thanks for tuning in.
Hello. Hello and welcome back to the Take Charge of Your Home Show. I'm sitting in my bedroom today with this new puppy at my feet, trying to record on my [00:02:00] laptop and I've got my microphone stacked on a pile of notebooks. So we're going to see how this works, because I don't really know if it's going to, fingers crossed that it does. Now. We're going to be talking about today why decluttering and organizing have not been working for you before now, but before we get started, I wanted to share something that has come up in my personal life because a greatly, very much so affects me.
And I always want to be real and honest with you. And so sometimes when there are very big changes and life events happening to me, I feel like it is, like it's, it's relevant for you to know in case there are some last minute changes that come up or anything along those lines.
So. I'm not really sure [00:03:00] if I've shared the beginning of the story on the podcast yet, but in November I ended up with an ulcer on my foot and it was largely related to stress from our house fire. And it was just this tiny little scab, but it wouldn't heal.
And then in right after Christmas, like the beginning of January, the scab fell off and it was just this tiny little open wound. And then it just exacerbated and turned into this like disastrous thing that was like, You know, And two inches wide and tall, and it was like, it was just gross.
It was oozy and it was just a big problem. And so I finally got into wound care about a month later. Because my doctors didn't want to refer me. Actually, my doctor told me to put Neosporin on it, but anyways, Um, so I've been going to wound care ever since, and it's getting better, you know, it's, you know, it's heading in the right direction, but my wound care doctor, you know, she had me go get an [00:04:00] ultrasound to check for blood clots because where the wound is, it's on the top of my foot. And since I have lymphedema on my legs, The leg that the wound is on that leg swelled up way, way larger than it's normal for me. And, um, so they had me checked for blood clots. I was all clear of that. But then my wound care doctor said that sometimes when a wound is having trouble healing and it's very painful, which by the way mine was throughout the month of February, it was the most excruciating pain that I've ever felt in my entire life. So again, my doctor said that when a wound is having trouble healing and when it can be very painful, they like to have our arteries checked because sometimes that could mean that there is some kind of problem with our arteries. So last Friday I went and got an arterial ultrasound.
I went to the same place that they checked me for blood clots. And so I had the same radiologist read my results. And this past [00:05:00] Tuesday, two days ago, I got my results. And I found out that I have 75% blockage in one of the arteries on my leg, on my left leg, where the wound is, and I have up to 50% blockage in one of the arteries on my right leg. Which has been a huge shock to me because I had no idea that this was happening. I'm very scared.
And so I've been taking a few days to process this all and allow myself to be sad and allow myself to really just feel a sense of safety and, and peace in my body and not let this turn into this spiral of anxious thoughts, you know?
So they've referred me to a cardiologist and I actually finally, um, scheduled the appointment this morning. It's next Thursday, April 11th, a day after our upcoming free masterclass. So I'm, um, You know, just going to [00:06:00] keep chugging along. I have multiple doctor's appointments every single week. But in all honesty, this is the life of someone with a chronic illness of someone with multiple health conditions.
And it is a very stark contrast from what my life was seven years ago. I was. I hesitate to use the word normal, but that's the way I see it in my mind. I was you know, just a normal, healthy person. I'm five, two. I was 120 pounds. I had no leg swelling. I had no Raynaud's syndrome. So my hands weren't, you know, red and swollen. And I was just a normal, healthy person. And now I have all these problems.
And so. Really where I'm going with this is. You know, over the last year, it has been the hardest year of my life. My business coach, as a matter of fact said that it probably feels like I've lived a decade in the last year and. [00:07:00] It does. You know, as a matter of fact, this morning, I was pulling into my driveway at the house that we're renting from my aunt.
I was pulling into the driveway after I dropped my kids off at school. And I remember thinking to myself, How long have we lived here and it's been it'll be a year in August. But it seems like it's been a year already. Like it's, it seems like it's been really more than a year. And I think that's related to the fact that so much has happened and like my coach said, it, it it's like I've lived a decade.
We had a total loss house fire. I had extreme, extreme, personal issues happening between me and my husband with our finances and a lot of things that I didn't share publicly online. And then I got this wound and now I find out that there's blockages in my arteries and my heart might be affected and I might need to have, you know, get on [00:08:00] medication or have surgeries.
And it's just, it's just a lot to take in. And so the reason I'm sharing all of this is because it is never been more important in my life for me to have a household that is supportive of my lifestyle and the things that I need and the things that I want to do. And so all of this to say, Having an organized well-run household is not just something that's a nice to have, it is a necessity. It's I did not have my shit together for lack of a better word, if my house was chaotic and cluttered and in disarray, if I couldn't keep up with our meals and the laundry and the dishes and the mails and the paperwork and the, and the to do's, if I couldn't manage all of that stuff on a day-to-day basis. I like to say that I would be losing my mind, but in reality, After deeply becoming aware of myself and my personal habits, [00:09:00] what I personally would end up doing is avoiding everything.
I'm an avoider ,through and through by nature. And when I get these types of bad news or, or health scares, if my house was not supportive of my lifestyle, I would end up letting the dishes and the laundry go. I. You know, would we would be eating fast food every day, if not every other day. And I would just be avoiding everything and burrying myself in my work. And fortunately, that doesn't have to happen because I have systems and routines to help me stay on top of the things that matter and keep the messes picked up from one day to the next, without it getting out of control. And I've been able to teach my kids how to how to help me and how to do the same thing. I've been able to have, you know, the hard conversations with my kids and tell them like, you know, this is what's going on in my life and I want you to know because we're a family, we're a [00:10:00] team and I'm going to need your help over the next couple of months.
And so they know, and , they're trying to be better about picking up their rooms and just helping me. And this is all part of having a well-run, organized home. And it's something that I will never take for granted. 'cause I can remember specifically what it was like before my house was in order, when my house was chaotic and out of control. And, you know, that was back right at the beginning stages of my health issues. As a matter of fact, I really think it's kind of what triggered the clutter and the mess and the chaos to start forming because within a year's timeframe, I had my youngest child, I found out. That my legs would be swollen for the rest of my life and my mom passed away.
And it was a lot to take in. And that was, you know, several huge life changes one right after the other. And from there, my house became more and more cluttered and messy as time went on. [00:11:00] And so.
I can remember what it was like to live like that and to feel stressed and chaotic and overwhelmed and frustrated and honestly pissed off on a daily basis. And I don't ever want to get back to that. I don't ever want to allow something like that to happen again. And with that said, I know what it's like if you're living like that, if your household is not supportive of your lifestyle, of your goals and the things that you want to do. And the things that you need to do.
And so that's exactly what I'm here to help you achieve so that way you can truly enjoy your life and be able to balance life's ups and downs, the good and the bad and the in between, be able to balance all of it with resiliency and strength and dignity and grace. You can just take the time that you [00:12:00] need to handle the good and the bad parts of life. And your house will be there working for you in the background day in and day out for the next 5, 10, 20 years. And I'm so excited to show you and teach you how to be able to do this.
So. Now without further ado.
Let's get into today's episode. For our entire adult lives we have been fed the belief that getting organized is the key to a great life. And I didn't just pull that out of my ass. There are literally web articles online that say exactly that. I found this out a couple of years ago, about two years ago when I started to build this system, that I'm going to be sharing with you over the next two months because I was looking, I decided to search online for another way to describe the home life industry, because that's not really what people call it. That that's what I call it. [00:13:00] And that's pretty much because this particular day, when I Googled, what is another way to describe the home life industry? I couldn't find anything. There's literally nothing out there. So I just decided to keep using that same word. It's the home life industry. It's the home life, you know, it's it's our households it's kind of like, we're homemakers and we're trying to create better homes for ourselves. So anyways, where I'm going with this is when I Googled that, that day. What is another word for the home life industry? The very first article that came up said being organized is the key to a great life.
And I, my jaw hit the floor. I was shocked, which it really just solidified exactly what I was there to research in the first place- that people think the home life industry equals being organized. They think they're one in the same. They think they go hand in hand together. [00:14:00] And they don't, the whole, our home life is not congruent with getting organized.
Our home lives are about our households in general and everything that could possibly fall underneath it from tidying up the messes and staying on top of the paperwork and cooking nourishing meals for your family and helping your kids with their homework and cleaning and clearing away the excess clutter. And, staying on top of your emails and being able to consolidate your photographs and keeping your sentimental items that are important to you, keeping them displayed in a way that is meaningful to you. And then of course, we've got dishes and laundry and and all those nitty-gritty things and the shoes and the jackets and the purses and the bags and the toys and it's a lot, you know, there's a lot that falls under that umbrella of our home lives.
And so that [00:15:00] day, when I saw this article online, especially considering the fact that I had searched home life industry, it just blew my mind that the internet, that society thinks that in order to have a well-run home, we need to get organized. And so with that said, now that it's been a few years, I have learned that there are so many people who believe this.
And so when I say that we've been fed the belief, what I mean is that society and the internet have taught us for our entire adult lives, that this is what we need to do. They teach us that getting organized is the key to a great life. They teach us that it's the key to having a well-run household that supports our needs.
And it's not just random articles on Google. And by the way, that was not a random article. I can not remember who the life of me wrote it, but it was like a big name publication, like Times or something like that.
So because we've been taught that we need to be more organized, [00:16:00] what's happening as a result, is you're naturally following professional organizers advice. All the pro organizers that you find online, the big named and the small named ones, like the Home Edit or even local pro organizers that might be in your area that you're following on Instagram or Tik Tok or whatever.
You watch their videos and you save their posts and you do what they say to do because somewhere along the way, over the last 20 to 30 years, We just picked up the belief that they're going to help us get organized. And we believe that being organized is the key to a great life. So it's totally natural if you've been doing this.
But here's what I really want to point out to you is that. Professional organizers, the methods that they use work for them because they're professionals who do this for a living. And also because they have a team [00:17:00] helping them.
So typically this looks like decluttering and organizing at the same time. That's the number one method that pro organizers use that I really want to point out to you today. As an example, the Home Edit they teach that you first edit a space and then you organize what's left by containing everything in their beautiful containers in the order of the rainbow and yada yada, yada. So what happens is you're following professional organizer advice and you're trying to do what they say to do, you're trying to edit a space in your home and then organize what's left.
But the reason why this is a problem is because professional organizers, the homes that they're working in, they don't really have a whole lot of clutter. It's not really messy and cluttered. Their clients just want to be more organized. They don't have piles of [00:18:00] stuff. , their clients just want to keep their homes from getting out of hand.
And so this works really well for the Home Edit and their clients. But if you're doing what they're doing, it's not going to work for you. For most people, it's never going to work. So this could look like pulling everything out, sorting it all into different piles, editing or letting go of a few things, relocating other items, and then putting everything back in a more organized way, maybe buying some baskets or bins or using some that you already have or anything along those lines.
But this doesn't actually solve the problem for your entire household. You might organize this one particular space, but you didn't let go of enough stuff to really make a difference because you were more focused on organizing. And then what happens is that space gets cluttered and messy all over again within another week [00:19:00] because it didn't solve the problem, the root of the problem in your home, which is the fact that you don't have a system to unify all of your belongings. So I'm sitting in my bedroom right now and I'm looking at my dresser which is cluttered and messy right now with just random things. There's like a bedsheet, there's some perfume that I really don't like and was already refunded for and they told me to keep, so I need to figure out if I'm going to give it away or throw it away or something. There's a makeup palette. And, A portable heater and a claw clip and some roses my daughter gave me for international women's day, and then it looks like a pile of paperwork. So I can organize this dresser, you know, I could, I could do what the Home Edit says to do. But then in another week when I'm changing the bedsheets, you know, a pillow case might get put back on there. Or if I end up with makeup that I don't really know [00:20:00] what to do with, it might get set back on this dresser again. So where I'm going with, this is, as you can see the reason why the dresser is getting cluttered, it's not because I'm naturally disorganized, it's not because I'm lazy or because I need to try harder, it's because there's not a system to help me unify all of my belongings. And really as a side note, the reason why I don't a hundred percent have this system in place in this rental house that we're living in is because I lost all of my things in our house fire last summer. Before our house fire, I had this system and it was much easier to keep things in order. And because of our house fire, I've now realized how crucial this is. I've really seen it in action in my own home. Kind of in a different light because I don't yet have somewhere to store makeup that I'm not currently using. I keep my makeup in a like a travel kit that I got on the Tik Tok shop and it fits all of the [00:21:00] makeup I use on a day-to-day basis. But when I have an extra pallet that I can save away for later, I don't have anywhere to put that, and therefore, that's why they got put on my dresser. I don't have anywhere to keep perfume, because that was actually the first perfume bottle I bought after losing all of mine in the fire. I don't have anywhere to keep my claw clips yet. And so the reason I'm pointing this all out to you is because the makeup and the perfume and the claw clips are getting left on my dresser because there's nowhere to put them.
But in your house, the makeup and the perfume and the claw clips might be getting left on your bedroom dresser because you don't have room to store them anywhere. So it's two sides of the same coin. I don't have anywhere to put them because we don't it's really hard to explain, like when you open up my linen closet, we just have towels everywhere and I haven't actually bought like baskets and bins to designate where to put things and so, because of that, there's just [00:22:00] random stuff, kind of in my linen closet and nothing is really grouped or contained together there's like, band-aids mixed with medicine mixed with, um, you know, feminine products and then, humidifier stuff. But again, in your house, what is most likely happening is there is not room in your linen closet or your bathroom cabinets for the claw clips, the makeup, and the perfume.
So all of that to say there is no system to unify all of your belongings. So you could in the moment go organize your bedroom dresser. But then in another week, All this random shit is going to get left out again because that still doesn't solve the problem that there's no space to store away your things behind closed doors and therefore, all your daily use items are going to continue to get left out again and again, and again.
So that is one [00:23:00] reason why organizing doesn't work. Organizing and decluttering, one or the other, following the Home Edit or any pro organizer advice, it's not working because organizing individual spaces one at a time does nothing to help you organize the grand scheme of your entire home.
Now on the other hand, there's another reason why organizing might not be working for you. And this is because you might think that you're organizing but you're really just rearranging and relocating your things over and over and over again.
So let's, you know, y'all know, I love my tangible examples because I feel like if I'm trying to explain a concept to you, it could be so easily misconstrued in so many different ways. But when I give a tangible example, it's much more easier for you to fully understand exactly what I'm trying to say.
So as an example, let's [00:24:00] say it is your office desk, your desk, or something like that. And you have some random items on there. And so you want to make it look more organized and orderly and beautiful. So you go up to the desk and you pick these items up and you find somewhere else to put them, or you, you know, neatly arrange them in a beautiful way on your desk, or you stack things in a little pile and you're just kind of doing your best to make it look as orderly as possible.
And the reason why you might be doing this is because the actual definition of organizing means to arrange in a structured hole or to arrange in order. And so taken at face value, you could take a little stack of papers on your desk and you straighten them all up so it's neatly stacked up and then put it in the corner of your desk and put a paperweight on it and you can make it look more orderly and that could technically be considered [00:25:00] organizing.
But what you really need to know here is that any time you're trying to organize a space in your home, if you're mostly focused on gathering up items and finding somewhere to put them, that's really just rearranging and relocating your things over and over again. And I will say that when it comes to your entire house, the grand scheme of your entire household, organizing your desk or your entryway table, or even your bedroom dresser, it's never going to help in the longterm.
It's never really gonna make a difference for your entire home.
So, those are just two reasons why organizing and decluttering might not be working for you because you're following the professional organizers advice that was really meant to help people keep their homes from getting out of hand. It was never meant to help somebody organize a messy home. And then organizing and decluttering might also not be working for you if you're inadvertently tidying up and [00:26:00] relocating and rearranging your things instead of actually clearing away the clutter and organizing what's left.
Now I have so, so many more secrets that I could share with you about what it really takes to organize a messy home. I have so many secrets that I could share with you that the professional organizers are not telling you because you know, not to throw shade on the pro organizers because they do amazing work, they are so, so needed in this world and they help millions of clients across our entire world. But like I said, their job is to help people keep their homes from getting out of hand. But for the people whose homes already are out of control, for the people whose homes are, they already are messy and cluttered and chaotic and stressful, you need a different strategy. The professional organizing methods and strategies are never going to help you, it's never going to make a difference.
And that is why I'm putting on a free masterclass called the 3 Little Known Secrets that the [00:27:00] Organizing Pros Aren't Telling You because I'm going to be revealing what it really takes to organize a messy home, what it really takes to transform your entire household. So if you've been trying for maybe years to have an organized, tidy, peaceful, relaxing home, but nothing that you try ever seems to be working, then this is a class that you're not going to want to miss. Because again, following the advice from professional organizers is never going to help you organize your messy home. You need to have a more tailored approach to help you unify all of your belongings, and everything that falls under the umbrella of your household as a whole.
So if you're ready to find out what these secrets are so that way you can end the clutter cycle for good and finally get an organized, well-run household that puts hours of free time back into your day, you're going to want to go save your free seat [00:28:00] at themaximizingmomma.com forward slash secrets.
I will share the link in the show notes, or you can just type the link into your browser window. Go save your seat. The masterclass is all happening in less than a week on Wednesday, April 10th at 12:00 PM on Zoom. So don't forget. Go sign up now before you forget, because it's happening in like six days. And when you get signed up, that will ensure that you have your seat saved, that you will be sent the Zoom link to your email address that way you can join us live, get your questions answered, get motivated from a community of other people who are all working towards the same goal as you of having a more organized, well run home.
So that's all that I have for you today, but keep in mind that over the next two months, we have a series of live events happening to give you this entire plan, the plan that you need to [00:29:00] unify all of your belongings. And every single week, we're going to be having a different theme here on the podcast, as well as on social media to break this all down into bite size bits of information so it's easier for you to take in. Because there's a lot to cover. It starts with shifting your perspective and helping you recognize that getting organized is not the end all be all goal when it comes to your home.
So that's exactly what this masterclass is here to help you do. And then from there, we're going to start getting into the nitty gritty of the different types of items in your home and why they're always getting left out and exactly what you need to do with every single one of those items. And then from there, we're going to talk about the plan that you need to unify all of your belongings, the roadmap to clear away the messes, ditch the clutter and get organized for good.
So if you're not already, go ahead and subscribe to the Take Charge [00:30:00] of Your Home Show. Don't forget to save your seat for the 3 Little Known Secrets that the Organizing Pros Aren't Telling You, the free master class. Go to the maximizing momma.com forward slash secrets or click on the link in the show notes.
So thank you as always for being here. Thank you for listening at the beginning of this episode, when I shared what's been happening in my personal life because it really means the world to me to have you here in this community. It, it means so much to me to know that you are listening and to know that you know, you look forward to these episodes. And to know that I'm helping you in your home. It, it truly is the most rewarding thing that I have ever experienced in my life. And I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. So thank you as always for being here. Thank you for tuning in to the Take Charge of Your Home Show.
And I will chat with you soon. Bye.
